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A Note to Dave Barry, Steve Martin or Ringo Starr(or their agents)(survey)

A Note to Publishers and Agents

The Book

1. Introduction
   
   • Are You a Folder or a Crumpler? (survey)

   • What Makes Us Experts?

   • A Note About Pronunciation

   • The Rating System

   • Medical Disclaimer

   • Preview of Ch2

2. The Toilegami Lifestyle

3. Projectiles: Be Careful!
   • The Ball

   • The Throwing Star

   • The Parachute

   • The Airplane

4. Last Minute Attire: Accessorize!
   • The Bow Tie

   • Sunglasses

   • Karate Kid Headband

   • Mummy Wrap

5. Animals: Make Friends in the Bathroom!
   • Swan

   • Flapping Bird

   • Cat

   • Unicorn

   • Dragon

6. Bowl Games: Make Boats, and Sink Them!
   • Boat 1

   • Boat 2

   • Boat 3

7. Index

8. Glossary

9. Progress Chart

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We aim to write a funny book. But we also hope to write a tasteful book that family members will feel free to give to almost anyone else in their family. Thatâs right, we aim to do tasteful bathroom humor. The book has two main parts. The first main part consists of two chapters of humorous prose. The introduction and second chapter are tongue-in-cheek explanations of how the book came about, how to use the book, and how toilet paper origami can fit into (and even change) oneâs life. We have included the introduction with this submission to give a sense of both our writing style and the content of the book. We have also included an outline of the second chapter ("The Toilegami Lifestyle").

The other main part of the book consists of various toilet paper origami designs (with commentary, of course). These are real designs that work for real people with real toilet paper. The designs are divided into four groups ö projectiles, wardrobe items (that people can really wear), animals, and boats.

We also plan to pepper the book with some bells and whistles. The first whistle is a foreword by a prominent humorist. Dave Barry or Steve Martin (a fellow philosophy major) are our first choices, but we are open to other alternatives. (Thatâs pretty big of us, isnât it?)

The second whistle is the set of trivia boxes we will scatter throughout the book. Here we will share information about things like:

• How many rolls of toilet paper it would take to circle the globe.
• Who really invented the toilet.
• Etc.

As for the bells, we will have a funny rating system, a glossary (with many euphemisms for words like Îtoiletâ, Îtoilet paperâ, Îbathroomâ, Îtoilet paper origamiâ, etc.), a progress chart (so that family members can check off the designs they have completed), and we hope to have a great cover design (the key to getting people to look at the book in the first place).

Toilegami: the practical bathroom book makes a wonderful Holiday gift, and we have reason to believe that it has tremendous commercial potential. Although it may find a home in the humor section, we primarily picture it during the holiday season stacked on tables at checkout areas of bookstores like Barnes and Noble, just waiting for those poor souls who have someone on their shopping list who is notoriously difficult to shop for. Someone will see it on his or her way to the checkout line and say, "GRANDPA!!! Thatâs what I can get Grandpa!"

The great thing about Toilegami is that the main concept is very simple, and almost everyone thinks itâs funny. Weâve done some informal polling, and everyone weâve talked to says that they think the book idea is hilarious, and that they know someone they would buy it for. (Of course the poll results are skewed by the fact that we avoided polling people we knew to lack a sense of humor. Also, people donât tend to give honest criticism to authors who ask what they think about the authorâs own book ideas. Other than that, the polling virtually proves that the idea is good!) Weâve also talked with many bookstore employees and managers, and they say that an item like this would sell very well. Moreover, they say it would sell very well as a hardcover. We agree, and think that this is so, not only because many gifts sell well as hardcovers, but also because this book actually works better as a hardcover. Itâs a good flat surface on which to fold oneâs toilet paper.

Itâs also clear that this is the kind of book that people will buy, as opposed to reading in a library or bookstore. At a store like Barnes and Noble, many books are read in the store on those big comfy chairs, and are not subsequently purchased. This isnât that kind of book. This is a book you have to either give to someone, or have in your bathroom. Both of those options require a purchase.

Almost everyone has done some reading in the bathroom. Although many people just bring things in with them for reading, The Great American Bathroom Book, and the Uncle Johnâs series have tried to establish themselves as permanent fixtures in the bathroom, and have spawned the "bathroom book" genre. Toilegami may be the book that will push the "bathroom book" to the next level. (We dare to dream that, one day, the "bathroom book" will hold its own with the "coffee table book").

Larry Gibson is a Ph.D. candidate in Philosophy at the University of Washington. Paulina Galoob is an executive at a fortune 500 corporation, and an aspiring actor. Thus, we are eminently qualified to write a book about toilet paper origami. The story of how we conceived and developed Toilegami is in the introduction, which is included in this submission.

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