A note about pronunciation is in order. 'Toilegami' is pronounced toy-luh-GAH-me, like 'origami'. The way you pronounce 'toilegami' is surprisingly important. For if you pronounce it incorrectly, as Toy-LI-guh-me (like polygamy), you are apt to have some serious misconceptions about this book. In fact, you may have said to yourself, "This sounds like fun, but I don't think I believe in it." (And yet here you sit reading it anyway. Hmm.)

There is a word, 'Toilegamy' (with a 'y'), that is pronounced like 'polygamy'. But 'Toilegamy' refers to the despicable practice (common in parts of this country, that will go unnamed, lest evildoers be encourage to make a pilgrimage) of marrying your toilet. (We're sorry, there's really no tactful way to say it.) Although we hope it doesn't need to be said, we want to make it clear that we do not endorse toilegamy, and do not wish to be associated with it in any way.

Unfortunately, the confusion runs a little deeper still. For those who practice Toilegami (with an 'i'), and those who practice Toilegamy (with a 'y') are both referred to as 'toilegamists', and, in each case, the word is pronounced, Toy-LI-guh-mists.

This perplexes the authors. We want dearly for those who read our book to be proud to call themselves 'toilegamists'. But this is bound to lead to social problems for such readers. Such people will be viewed with suspicion, especially anytime they wander near someone else's bathroom fixtures. We sympathize, but know of no easy way out of the dilemma. Our suggestion to you, our reader, would be to claim freely to be a toilegamist, but to explain to others at every opportunity that you are a toilet paper folder, and are not going to try to seduce their plumbing.